Ostara is traditionally celebrated on the Spring Equinox but in some Heathen traditions they celebrate once there are actual signs of spring appearing. Spring does not actually show up in some cities and areas in the far north until later March and April. In this way we just haven't gotten around to celebrating Ostara yet. Some of this is lack of time to do so and part of this is due to my husband's Heathen beliefs.
We have plans of so many things to do. Dying eggs, having an egg hunt, pulling coloring pages from Brigid Ashwood's books, using old toilet paper rolls covering them in shortening and seeds to make bird feeders and talking about the original meaning of Ostara and spring festivals.
I think it's important to try and make a concerted effort to connect to nature especially with us living in a city and not on a farm. It can be difficult to find areas where you can fully explore nature and really listen to the woods. We would be planting a patio garden as well but we're moving soon and we can't take our plants with us. Once we get our Ostara celebrating going I'll be posting pictures and instructions on how to make all of the projects!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Friday, March 6, 2015
Cupcakes and St. Patrick's Day
So this post is mostly about a yummy St. Patrick's Day cupcake recipe! I'll be teaching Emma about the history of St. Patrick and how it relates to paganism but I do have some research to do myself. As it's the very beginning of March that gives me some time thankfully. For now here's a great cupcake recipe that my husband got from someone at work! It's divine. I'll post some pictures when the girls and I make them this weekend. I'll be making two batches. One without the alcohol in the frosting because I don't need my kids boozed up and one for my husband to take to work that has the alcohol in it!
Guinness Chocolate Cupcakes
1 cup Guinness Stout
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (preferably Dutch-process)
2 cups all purpose flower
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoons salt
2 large eggs, room temperature
2/3 cups sour cream
Ganache Filling
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate
2/3 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons butter, room temperature
1 to 2 teaspoons Irish whiskey (optional)
Baileys Frosting (see Recipe Notes)
3 to 4 cups confectioners sugar
1 stick (1/2 cup or 4 oz) unsalted butter at room temperature
3 to 4 tablespoons Baileys (or milk, or heavy cream or combination thereof)
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line 24 cupcakes with liners. Bring 1 cup stout and 1 cup butter to simmer in heavy large saucepan over medium head. Add cocoa power and whisk until mixture is smooth. Cool slightly.
Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda and 3/4 teaspoon salt in large bowl to blend. Using electric mixture beat eggs and sour cream in another large bowl to blend. Add stout chocolate mixture to egg minture and beat just to combine. Add flour mixture and beat briefly on slow speed. Using rubber spatula, fold batter until completely combined. Divide batter among cupcake liners, filling them 2/3 to 3/4 of the way. Bake cupcakes until tester inserted into center comes out clean. Roasted them once front to back if your oven bakes unevenly. Bake for about 17 minutes. Cool cupcakes on a rack completely.
Ganache: Make the filling. Chop the chocolate and transfer to a heatproof bowl. Heat the cream until it simmers and pour over the chocolate. Let it sit for one minute and then stir until smooth. If this does not sufficiently melt the chocolate you can return it to the double-boiler to gently melt what remains. Alternatively use the microwave in 10 second intervals stirring in between being careful not to scorch the chocolate. Add the butter and whiskey (if using) and stir until combined.
Let the ganache cool until thick but still soft enough to be piped. Meanwhile, using your one inch young cookie cutter or apple corer cut the centers out of the cooled cupcakes. You want to go most of the way down the cupcake but do not cut through to the bottom. Aim for 2/3 of the way. Put ganache into a piping bag with a wide tip and fill the holes in each cupcake to the top.
Frosting: Whip the butter in a mixing bowl for several minutes until light and fluffy. slowly add the powered sugar, a few tablespoons at a time.
When the frosting looks thick enough to spread, drizzle in the Baileys (or milk) and whip it until combined. If this has made the frosting too thing bet in another spoonful or two of powdered sugar.
Guinness Chocolate Cupcakes
1 cup Guinness Stout
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (preferably Dutch-process)
2 cups all purpose flower
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoons salt
2 large eggs, room temperature
2/3 cups sour cream
Ganache Filling
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate
2/3 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons butter, room temperature
1 to 2 teaspoons Irish whiskey (optional)
Baileys Frosting (see Recipe Notes)
3 to 4 cups confectioners sugar
1 stick (1/2 cup or 4 oz) unsalted butter at room temperature
3 to 4 tablespoons Baileys (or milk, or heavy cream or combination thereof)
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line 24 cupcakes with liners. Bring 1 cup stout and 1 cup butter to simmer in heavy large saucepan over medium head. Add cocoa power and whisk until mixture is smooth. Cool slightly.
Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda and 3/4 teaspoon salt in large bowl to blend. Using electric mixture beat eggs and sour cream in another large bowl to blend. Add stout chocolate mixture to egg minture and beat just to combine. Add flour mixture and beat briefly on slow speed. Using rubber spatula, fold batter until completely combined. Divide batter among cupcake liners, filling them 2/3 to 3/4 of the way. Bake cupcakes until tester inserted into center comes out clean. Roasted them once front to back if your oven bakes unevenly. Bake for about 17 minutes. Cool cupcakes on a rack completely.
Ganache: Make the filling. Chop the chocolate and transfer to a heatproof bowl. Heat the cream until it simmers and pour over the chocolate. Let it sit for one minute and then stir until smooth. If this does not sufficiently melt the chocolate you can return it to the double-boiler to gently melt what remains. Alternatively use the microwave in 10 second intervals stirring in between being careful not to scorch the chocolate. Add the butter and whiskey (if using) and stir until combined.
Let the ganache cool until thick but still soft enough to be piped. Meanwhile, using your one inch young cookie cutter or apple corer cut the centers out of the cooled cupcakes. You want to go most of the way down the cupcake but do not cut through to the bottom. Aim for 2/3 of the way. Put ganache into a piping bag with a wide tip and fill the holes in each cupcake to the top.
Frosting: Whip the butter in a mixing bowl for several minutes until light and fluffy. slowly add the powered sugar, a few tablespoons at a time.
When the frosting looks thick enough to spread, drizzle in the Baileys (or milk) and whip it until combined. If this has made the frosting too thing bet in another spoonful or two of powdered sugar.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Ostara and Heathenism
So this year the oldest kidlet brought up Easter and Ostara herself. We were sitting around and she asked us what our version of Easter was and when it was. I wasn't sure when Easter was but I knew that Mardi Gras was early this year so Easter was going to be early. I also knew that Wiccans and many other pagans celebrate Ostara on the Spring Equinox but I wasn't actually sure if Asatru and Heathens do as well.
During my research I found a couple of things. I found a blog called A Heathen's Day which basically says that many celebrate on the Spring Equinox but Vikings didn't have calendars and it's possible that they celebrated Ostara when the first signs of spring appeared instead of a set date. The first signs of spring change from year to year so the celebration of Ostara would also change from year to year much like Easter changes as well.
To be honest this makes a lot of sense to me. Sometimes a lot of the country is still going to experience a cold snap after the Spring Equinox that could damage certain plants. The country is also split up into different planting zones. So while the Pacific Northwest where I'm living can plant something at one time Texas can plant something else at another time. So sometime in April seems safer to celebrate Ostara to me because spring will be in full bloom.
Now I'm not one for full blown out rituals where you call all the elements of the four directions and blah, blah, blah. It makes me feel rather silly and self conscious. Which is my issue but it also doesn't feel personal enough to me. I've looked up different rituals online and I have some books that have some as well but I don't like to use them completely. For one they tend not to account for having only one or two people, they need this insane list of tools and they don't seem to have anything that is child friendly.
My husband has a book of rituals he got from the Troth and they are interesting I like reading through them but I'm not exactly fond of the ones I get in books aimed directly to Wicca. I do like the books that have spells in them. Not for the spells exactly but mostly for learning how to structure a spell so I can make my own and the same with rituals so I can try and make my own. I suppose I need to start making child friendly rituals and spells that will help my children learn about our spirituality.
So for now I search through Pinterest for coloring pages, egg dying projects, cooking and bread making ideas that will get my girls interested in the season. Things that related to the fertility and goddess so I can explain what this season is about. So I can explain why our ancestors and ancient pagans celebrated Ostara. Then I come up with a small ritual that we can do that will hopefully be child friendly and as we always do with holiday feasts we will leave an offering from our meal for the gods and spirits.
Because what is our is theirs. We share the bounty of our work and for the blessings they have laid upon us.
During my research I found a couple of things. I found a blog called A Heathen's Day which basically says that many celebrate on the Spring Equinox but Vikings didn't have calendars and it's possible that they celebrated Ostara when the first signs of spring appeared instead of a set date. The first signs of spring change from year to year so the celebration of Ostara would also change from year to year much like Easter changes as well.
To be honest this makes a lot of sense to me. Sometimes a lot of the country is still going to experience a cold snap after the Spring Equinox that could damage certain plants. The country is also split up into different planting zones. So while the Pacific Northwest where I'm living can plant something at one time Texas can plant something else at another time. So sometime in April seems safer to celebrate Ostara to me because spring will be in full bloom.
Now I'm not one for full blown out rituals where you call all the elements of the four directions and blah, blah, blah. It makes me feel rather silly and self conscious. Which is my issue but it also doesn't feel personal enough to me. I've looked up different rituals online and I have some books that have some as well but I don't like to use them completely. For one they tend not to account for having only one or two people, they need this insane list of tools and they don't seem to have anything that is child friendly.
My husband has a book of rituals he got from the Troth and they are interesting I like reading through them but I'm not exactly fond of the ones I get in books aimed directly to Wicca. I do like the books that have spells in them. Not for the spells exactly but mostly for learning how to structure a spell so I can make my own and the same with rituals so I can try and make my own. I suppose I need to start making child friendly rituals and spells that will help my children learn about our spirituality.
So for now I search through Pinterest for coloring pages, egg dying projects, cooking and bread making ideas that will get my girls interested in the season. Things that related to the fertility and goddess so I can explain what this season is about. So I can explain why our ancestors and ancient pagans celebrated Ostara. Then I come up with a small ritual that we can do that will hopefully be child friendly and as we always do with holiday feasts we will leave an offering from our meal for the gods and spirits.
Because what is our is theirs. We share the bounty of our work and for the blessings they have laid upon us.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Stuffed Rune Projects
 |
| Elder Futhark Rune Meanings |
While we sat up all our materials that we needed and talked with my husband about what runes meant what I have an idea about herbs. I went into my cabinet and grabbed the herbs I had on hand. Unfortunately my stock is really low and I only had sandalwood, jasmine, lavender, rose petals and a couple of others. We went ahead and looked up what those did as well and the eldest was super excited about making a mixture to put in the stuffed runes and to make an incense to burn. With that we made a little chant and I had the kidlet say it out loud three times while she was grinding the herbs in my brand new granite mortal and pestle. Between the both of us we came up with our chant. It was her first bit of magic and I was so proud.
Clean this house
Let all sleep well
Let everyone be happy
Keep everyone in the house safe
It's simple but she helped come up with it and you don't always need things to be elaborate! Now onto the stuffed runes!
 |
| Algiz, Jera, Sowilo |
Scissors
Mixture of color of felt of your choice (we chose black and green felt)
Green and black thread
Needle
Straight pins
Embroidery floss in your color of choice (we used gold)
Drinking glass or other round item of your choice of size that you want to use. We used a small one at first and then larger after that.
Stuffing for the rune toy
White fabric pencil
Print out of runes will include the images so you can download and print them out and use to cut out on the felt of your choice.
A piece of paper with the viking rune meanings so you can discuss what they mean while making the toys.
What we did first was pick a glass what would be the right size for our rune toys. We folded the felt in half and traced the opening of the glass with the white fabric pencil. This got us four circles out of each piece of felt. We printed out the pieces of papers with the runes on them as 5 x 7 pictures and the images came out as the right size for our project. You may need to adjust them for your size.
Using a straight pin attach the black rune to the round green piece of felt and using the embroidery thread sew it onto the felt. Line up the two pieces of round felt and pin them together making sure to leave two inches open for putting the stuffing in. I used a running stitch around the edge and then stuffed the toy. After it was done being stuffed I finished it with another running stitch. After that I used the overcast stitch with embroidery thread which made sure everything was nice and tight and wouldn't come apart.
Having these runes are great ways to educate your kids because they also can be used as toys. Kids love them because they're soft and adults love them because you can make up games to teach the kids about your beliefs!
Something like this could also be used as a gift for someone using a particular rune for protection or something aimed for sleep and put lavender with the stuffing and a drop or two of essential oils in there. The possibilities are endless and then your kids feel really proud because they have helped!
As promised here are the pictures that I used for the project.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Breath of Our Earth
This week found Emma and me working on a project from The Earth Child's Handbook by Brigid Ashwood. Emma had been looking through it and had decided she wanted to work on an air mobile with cute little birds and a cloud on it. Thankfully I had some white card stock on hand so this worked out for us.
I found this to be an interesting conversation to have with her not only explaining how air works from a mundane point of view but how it works from a more magical standpoint. We discovered how air and wind formed. Then we talked about how air is associated with the east. What astrological signed are associated with it and how people use air in different ways magically.
So here's what we used in our project.
2 pages of white card stock
crayons, markers or colored pencils
scissors
string
hole punch
After we scanned and printed the pages out onto card stock Emma colored the birds and clouds in. Cut the birds and cloud out then use the hole punch on the birds and cloud. Attach the birds to the cloud and hang the mobile where you'd like. Preferably where there's some wind!
It's a simple project but Emma had a ton of fun doing it and it was great that she picked it out. I like that she took the initiative to look through the book and asked to do the project on her own. It pleases me that she's taking an interest in our beliefs!
I found this to be an interesting conversation to have with her not only explaining how air works from a mundane point of view but how it works from a more magical standpoint. We discovered how air and wind formed. Then we talked about how air is associated with the east. What astrological signed are associated with it and how people use air in different ways magically.
 |
| Little blue birds. |
So here's what we used in our project.
2 pages of white card stock
crayons, markers or colored pencils
scissors
string
hole punch
After we scanned and printed the pages out onto card stock Emma colored the birds and clouds in. Cut the birds and cloud out then use the hole punch on the birds and cloud. Attach the birds to the cloud and hang the mobile where you'd like. Preferably where there's some wind!
It's a simple project but Emma had a ton of fun doing it and it was great that she picked it out. I like that she took the initiative to look through the book and asked to do the project on her own. It pleases me that she's taking an interest in our beliefs!
 |
| Emma's finished mobile. |
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Explaining Our Beliefs
Today I spent some time trying to explain our beliefs to my therapist, don't judge everyone needs someone to talk to! It was very annoying to realize that what I believed I had laid out in my head what at least was my husbands believes and a rather sketch out of my beliefs were I simply could not explain them to someone who had no real working knowledge of paganism outside of Wicca. Which was so incredibly frustrating for me because I think perhaps I might be a bit of a snob or it might be the perception that most people have of Wicca from outside of paganism from movies like The Craft, Pratical Magic (which I'll admit I love this movie), and Hocus Pocus (also a fan). None of those movies even if I enjoy them really do anything to further the cause of paganism or for people in Wicca who are serious about it instead of those who seem to think that they're a reincarnated Celtic princess and is someone's high priestess after a year of study and sex with the 'high priest'.
Tell me you haven't met one of these people and I'll call you a liar. Tell me you haven't mocked someone for this and I'll definitely know you're lying. We're human and we can't help that sort of thing from time to time. Especially when we're trying to legitimize ourselves and our religions and beliefs in countries that sometimes don't react so well to paganism.
I tried explaining the difference between Wicca and paganism by saying it's only really a sect of paganism. That paganism is an umbrella term that is used to explain any belief or religious system that isn't of a Christian/Jewish/Islam belief system. It's made more difficult to say that pagans are polytheistic because that's not necessarily true for all of them. I also had to explain that Wicca isn't some great religion that has been handed down like some people claim it's been made up. Almost all of these religions have been made up. Some have more source material than others like Asatru with their sagas, the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians etc. There are serious efforts to reclaim not just the religious beliefs that have been laid out, seriously check out the Egyptians they laid out everything, but the lifestyles as well. Wicca was completely made up by Gerald Gardner.
While I previously said I don't hold claim to any pantheon and I don't. I will use any god for what ever my need is but my introduction didn't start with movies like most people in their rebellious teenage years. I had a rough childhood and spent all my time outside in an attempt to get away from the sadness and anger in my life. Time spent playing with fairies, pretending about trolls and ogres and playing with magic. Walking through a specific tree that seems to have more buzzy magic to it than all the others and poking at the weather with our minds. My best friends sister was much older by at least 7 years so when we were young she was already being introduced to magic and thus we were introduced by her.
I just assumed as a kid that the world of the fae was real, things were supposed to happen when you used little magic phrases and walking through a buzzy little doorway was supposed to give you goosebumps and make your head filled with a sort of noise. It wasn't until I grew older that I realized that was different as I tried to get further into the Christian church as attempt to appease my parents. I realize that wasn't right as well. It wasn't for me and I just knew there was so much wrong with the bible and how the church treated people and coming from Texas there was a lot wrong with how the Christians there treated people sometimes. I knew good people and I knew bad people didn't matter what belief system they had necessarily but the bar seemed skewed more towards people who believed in singular God.
I was uncomfortable trying to explain this to my therapist even though she seemed open to it as I had mentioned our beliefs briefly before. If I couldn't explain them to a woman who has been a trusted adviser for three almost four years how am I going to explain it to 'normal' folk? I have this crushing disability of not being able to see people embarrass themselves and it expands to me too. If you ask me about the history about paganism I'l go on and on but if you ask me about my beliefs from a normal person stand point and want to know if I really believe in faeries then I get rattled. Maybe I'm afraid they'll think I'm crazy, maybe I'm afraid I'm going to be embarrassed if they dismiss me or maybe I just don't have the confidence in me. Maybe that's why I usually let my husband do the rituals and I do the kitchen witchery that doesn't require speaking to the gods out loud. I need to work on that so my children don't inherit that behavior.
Tell me you haven't met one of these people and I'll call you a liar. Tell me you haven't mocked someone for this and I'll definitely know you're lying. We're human and we can't help that sort of thing from time to time. Especially when we're trying to legitimize ourselves and our religions and beliefs in countries that sometimes don't react so well to paganism.
I tried explaining the difference between Wicca and paganism by saying it's only really a sect of paganism. That paganism is an umbrella term that is used to explain any belief or religious system that isn't of a Christian/Jewish/Islam belief system. It's made more difficult to say that pagans are polytheistic because that's not necessarily true for all of them. I also had to explain that Wicca isn't some great religion that has been handed down like some people claim it's been made up. Almost all of these religions have been made up. Some have more source material than others like Asatru with their sagas, the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians etc. There are serious efforts to reclaim not just the religious beliefs that have been laid out, seriously check out the Egyptians they laid out everything, but the lifestyles as well. Wicca was completely made up by Gerald Gardner.
While I previously said I don't hold claim to any pantheon and I don't. I will use any god for what ever my need is but my introduction didn't start with movies like most people in their rebellious teenage years. I had a rough childhood and spent all my time outside in an attempt to get away from the sadness and anger in my life. Time spent playing with fairies, pretending about trolls and ogres and playing with magic. Walking through a specific tree that seems to have more buzzy magic to it than all the others and poking at the weather with our minds. My best friends sister was much older by at least 7 years so when we were young she was already being introduced to magic and thus we were introduced by her.
I just assumed as a kid that the world of the fae was real, things were supposed to happen when you used little magic phrases and walking through a buzzy little doorway was supposed to give you goosebumps and make your head filled with a sort of noise. It wasn't until I grew older that I realized that was different as I tried to get further into the Christian church as attempt to appease my parents. I realize that wasn't right as well. It wasn't for me and I just knew there was so much wrong with the bible and how the church treated people and coming from Texas there was a lot wrong with how the Christians there treated people sometimes. I knew good people and I knew bad people didn't matter what belief system they had necessarily but the bar seemed skewed more towards people who believed in singular God.
I was uncomfortable trying to explain this to my therapist even though she seemed open to it as I had mentioned our beliefs briefly before. If I couldn't explain them to a woman who has been a trusted adviser for three almost four years how am I going to explain it to 'normal' folk? I have this crushing disability of not being able to see people embarrass themselves and it expands to me too. If you ask me about the history about paganism I'l go on and on but if you ask me about my beliefs from a normal person stand point and want to know if I really believe in faeries then I get rattled. Maybe I'm afraid they'll think I'm crazy, maybe I'm afraid I'm going to be embarrassed if they dismiss me or maybe I just don't have the confidence in me. Maybe that's why I usually let my husband do the rituals and I do the kitchen witchery that doesn't require speaking to the gods out loud. I need to work on that so my children don't inherit that behavior.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Inside Our Children's Hearts
When I learned I was pregnant with my first child one of the things I thought about was how I was going to introduce and teach that child about our beliefs. My husband and I are pagan so there really isn't a book that is handed out that outlines how to raise your kids in your religious system. There are many, many different belief systems that fall under the umbrella term of pagan just as there are that fall under the term of Christian. The key difference is that Christians all belief in a singular God where pagans all belief in many different things. Some belief in many gods, some belief in the idea of a god and goddess alone and so on and so forth. There are too many to list and many that can contradict each other.
To be honest I felt overwhelmed by not having a playbook of sorts and was jealous of the Christian faith and their Bible that laid out a path. Not to mention the sense of community that you get by attending a church and the benefits that come with that. Now I have too many issues with Christianity and there are many reasons that I feel paganism and Witchcraft are right for me and my family but a sense of community is something I lack.
My husband is in the United States Coast Guard and we move every four years. We were at our first station in a very small town that barely qualified for the term city when I had my daughter Emma and I knew two people. I was completely isolated. Add in the military which isn't necessarily friendly to other religions and the fact that my husband is Asatru which is not a large branch of paganism it makes for a somewhat solitary life.
We have not found a group or kindred in our 10 years of marriage or being in the Coast Guard but we did find a group of friends briefly at one of our stations in New Orleans through the Society for Creative Anachronism. While in New Orleans I found a need for friends because I found myself pregnant and subsequently suffering a miscarriage. It was one of the deepest pains I had found and that is saying something because I had a rough childhood. My family still grieves for our baby boy. We found through testing that we were having a boy and what had caused the miscarriage. We had told Emma about her soon to be sibling and we had to tell her about his death as well. We named him Rowan Avery and found some solace in that naming.
It was her first experience with death and at the age of four I think she handled it as well as she could. She is a very expressive and empathetic child. Four years later she still talks about him from time to time. It was also the first time we really talked about our beliefs and how it related specifically to death. We spoke simply as we could because she was four but also clearly about how we feel that our souls go to rest with our ancestors. That Rowan would be with those who had already died and would be there when we died.
As I mentioned earlier my husband is Asatru but I'm more eclectic in my beliefs. I hold no closeness to any pantheon of gods. I feel more closeness to the fae and prefer to practice witchcraft more as an actual practice not Wicca but more as healers and hedge witches used to. I like to add in magic to gardening, cooking and crafting. A long time ago people used to be more close to the spirits that roamed than they really did to the gods but that was very long ago and that's more how my world view is. I do however belief in a form of reincarnation and that's a conversation that came up with Emma when I was driving home with her and my 2 year old Abby. I explained about the Buddhist viewpoint and then I explained mine. That I feel human souls are reincarnated into human bodies that there are lessons that need to be learned and when they are fully learned the souls may rest in the afterlife.
There are many lessons that I continue to try and teach our kids. Some pop up naturally and some we bring up on purpose. It's hard to know what to teach because there is no guideline. I try to learn what I can from the past and integrate it into what exists right now. I have to learn how to take a belief system that is based in nature and mix it into an increasingly high tech world. I do belief that there will be hiccups along the way but we will find our way somewhere along this rocky path.
To be honest I felt overwhelmed by not having a playbook of sorts and was jealous of the Christian faith and their Bible that laid out a path. Not to mention the sense of community that you get by attending a church and the benefits that come with that. Now I have too many issues with Christianity and there are many reasons that I feel paganism and Witchcraft are right for me and my family but a sense of community is something I lack.
My husband is in the United States Coast Guard and we move every four years. We were at our first station in a very small town that barely qualified for the term city when I had my daughter Emma and I knew two people. I was completely isolated. Add in the military which isn't necessarily friendly to other religions and the fact that my husband is Asatru which is not a large branch of paganism it makes for a somewhat solitary life.
We have not found a group or kindred in our 10 years of marriage or being in the Coast Guard but we did find a group of friends briefly at one of our stations in New Orleans through the Society for Creative Anachronism. While in New Orleans I found a need for friends because I found myself pregnant and subsequently suffering a miscarriage. It was one of the deepest pains I had found and that is saying something because I had a rough childhood. My family still grieves for our baby boy. We found through testing that we were having a boy and what had caused the miscarriage. We had told Emma about her soon to be sibling and we had to tell her about his death as well. We named him Rowan Avery and found some solace in that naming.
It was her first experience with death and at the age of four I think she handled it as well as she could. She is a very expressive and empathetic child. Four years later she still talks about him from time to time. It was also the first time we really talked about our beliefs and how it related specifically to death. We spoke simply as we could because she was four but also clearly about how we feel that our souls go to rest with our ancestors. That Rowan would be with those who had already died and would be there when we died.
As I mentioned earlier my husband is Asatru but I'm more eclectic in my beliefs. I hold no closeness to any pantheon of gods. I feel more closeness to the fae and prefer to practice witchcraft more as an actual practice not Wicca but more as healers and hedge witches used to. I like to add in magic to gardening, cooking and crafting. A long time ago people used to be more close to the spirits that roamed than they really did to the gods but that was very long ago and that's more how my world view is. I do however belief in a form of reincarnation and that's a conversation that came up with Emma when I was driving home with her and my 2 year old Abby. I explained about the Buddhist viewpoint and then I explained mine. That I feel human souls are reincarnated into human bodies that there are lessons that need to be learned and when they are fully learned the souls may rest in the afterlife.
There are many lessons that I continue to try and teach our kids. Some pop up naturally and some we bring up on purpose. It's hard to know what to teach because there is no guideline. I try to learn what I can from the past and integrate it into what exists right now. I have to learn how to take a belief system that is based in nature and mix it into an increasingly high tech world. I do belief that there will be hiccups along the way but we will find our way somewhere along this rocky path.
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