Explaining Our Beliefs

Today I spent some time trying to explain our beliefs to my therapist, don't judge everyone needs someone to talk to! It was very annoying to realize that what I believed I had laid out in my head what at least was my husbands believes and a rather sketch out of my beliefs were I simply could not explain them to someone who had no real working knowledge of paganism outside of Wicca. Which was so incredibly frustrating for me because I think perhaps I might be a bit of a snob or it might be the perception that most people have of Wicca from outside of paganism from movies like The Craft, Pratical Magic (which I'll admit I love this movie), and Hocus Pocus (also a fan). None of those movies even if I enjoy them really do anything to further the cause of paganism or for people in Wicca who are serious about it instead of those who seem to think that they're a reincarnated Celtic princess and is someone's high priestess after a year of study and sex with the 'high priest'.

Tell me you haven't met one of these people and I'll call you a liar. Tell me you haven't mocked someone for this and I'll definitely know you're lying. We're human and we can't help that sort of thing from time to time. Especially when we're trying to legitimize ourselves and our religions and beliefs in countries that sometimes don't react so well to paganism.

I tried explaining the difference between Wicca and paganism by saying it's only really a sect of paganism. That paganism is an umbrella term that is used to explain any belief or religious system that isn't of a Christian/Jewish/Islam belief system. It's made more difficult to say that pagans are polytheistic because that's not necessarily true for all of them. I also had to explain that Wicca isn't some great religion that has been handed down like some people claim it's been made up. Almost all of these religions have been made up. Some have more source material than others like Asatru with their sagas, the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians etc. There are serious efforts to reclaim not just the religious beliefs that have been laid out, seriously check out the Egyptians they laid out everything, but the lifestyles as well. Wicca was completely made up by Gerald Gardner.

While I previously said I don't hold claim to any pantheon and I don't. I will use any god for what ever my need is but my introduction didn't start with movies like most people in their rebellious teenage years. I had a rough childhood and spent all my time outside in an attempt to get away from the sadness and anger in my life. Time spent  playing with fairies, pretending about trolls and ogres and playing with magic. Walking through a specific tree that seems to have more buzzy magic to it than all the others and poking at the weather with our minds. My best friends sister was much older by at least 7 years so when we were young she was already being introduced to magic and thus we were introduced by her.

I just assumed as a kid that the world of the fae was real, things were supposed to happen when you used little magic phrases and walking through a buzzy little doorway was supposed to give you goosebumps and make your head filled with a sort of noise. It wasn't until I grew older that I realized that was different as I tried to get further into the Christian church as attempt to appease my parents. I realize that wasn't right as well. It wasn't for me and I just knew there was so much wrong with the bible and how the church treated people and coming from Texas there was a lot wrong with how the Christians there treated people sometimes. I knew good people and I knew bad people didn't matter what belief system they had necessarily but the bar seemed skewed more towards people who believed in singular God.

I was uncomfortable trying to explain this to my therapist even though she seemed open to it as I had mentioned our beliefs briefly before. If I couldn't explain them to a woman who has been a trusted adviser for three almost four years how am I going to explain it to 'normal' folk? I have this crushing disability of not being able to see people embarrass themselves and it expands to me too. If you ask me about the history about paganism I'l go on and on but if you ask me about my beliefs from a normal person stand point and want to know if I really believe in faeries then I get rattled. Maybe I'm afraid they'll think I'm crazy, maybe I'm afraid I'm going to be embarrassed if they dismiss me or maybe I just don't have the confidence in me. Maybe that's why I usually let my husband do the rituals and I do the kitchen witchery that doesn't require speaking to the gods out loud. I need to work on that so my children don't inherit that behavior.